10 Common Feelings When You Struggle with Abandonment Issues

Abandonment issues can feel like a shadow that follows you everywhere. Even when things are going well, there’s that nagging fear: What if they leave me? The fear of being left behind can create a constant sense of unease, manifesting as clinginess, mistrust, or an intense need for reassurance.

Feelings of worthlessness or self-doubt may arise, as you grapple with the belief that you are unlovable or destined to be alone. These feelings often come from past experiences of rejection, loss, or neglect—and they can leave you constantly on edge in relationships.

These complex mix of emotions can be overwhelming and difficult to navigate. And because of these overwhelming feelings, you might have a tendency to personalize what is going on, even though in many cases this is the not situation.

These emotions can - and often do - create a turbulent inner world, making it challenging to build and sustain healthy relationships. Relationships, especially with a partner, can suffer if the feelings of abandonment are not addressed.

10 Common Feelings Tied to Abandonment Issues

Fear & Anxiety – Constant worry about losing people you care about, insecurity, even panic attacks. You feel insecure in relationships, always questioning your partner’s commitment or loyalty. You may experience anxiety attacks, particularly during periods of perceived relational instability.

Low Self-Esteem – Persistent self-doubt and feeling “not good enough.” You have persistent feelings of unworthiness or inadequacy, believing you are not good enough to be loved or cared for. You have a negative self-image and lack of confidence in your ability to maintain healthy relationships.

Depression – Hopelessness, sadness, and loneliness, even when surrounded by others. Chronic feelings of abandonment can lead to depression, characterized by feelings of hopelessness and despair. You may experience deep sadness and a pervasive sense of loneliness, even when surrounded by others.

Clinginess & Dependency – Overreliance on others, fear of being alone, sliding into codependency. Your dependency stems from a fear of being alone and the belief that you cannot manage life without the support of others, leading to greater dependency and can lead to codependency.

Trust Issues – Suspicion, fear of betrayal, difficulty letting people in and trusting them. You may be overly suspicious or paranoid about others’ intentions, leading to strained relationships.

Emotional Outbursts – Anger, frustration, sudden mood swings, and emotional instability triggered by fear of being left. You may experience emotional outbursts, including anger and frustration, often directed at those you fear will leave them.

Overcompensation – People-pleasing and self-sacrifice to keep others around. You might go to great lengths to please others even at the expense of your own needs and well-being. You have developed a pattern of self-sacrifice, where you prioritize others’ needs over your own to keep them around.

Relationship Sabotage – Paradoxically, the fear of abandonment can lead you to sabotage your relationships, pushing people away before they can be left. You might constantly test your partner’s boundaries to gauge their commitment, often leading to conflict and instability.

Isolation – Your tendency to withdraw, can lead to social isolation and a lack of meaningful connections, further exacerbating feelings of loneliness and abandonment. Or You may withdraw from relationships altogether to avoid the pain of potential loss.

Need for Reassurance – You often seek constant reassurance from your partners or friends about their commitment and love. You may need frequent validation to feel secure, which can put a strain on relationships (it often does).Constant validation-seeking that strains relationships.

Final Thoughts:

If these feelings sound familiar, take heart—awareness is the first step. In part two, (coming soon!) I’ll share 16 powerful steps you can take to start healing and building more secure relationships.

In the meantime, check out my Freebies where you can download different types of checklists, journal prompts, and questionnaires to help you heal and grow!