13 Steps to Heal and Overcome Abandonment Issues
Healing from abandonment isn’t a quick fix—it’s a process. By the time you’re here, you’ve already started facing some hard truths about how abandonment has shaped your life. That takes courage. The next step is learning how to move forward with practical tools and mindset shifts that help you feel more grounded, secure, and connected.
These 12 steps are not about doing everything perfectly—they’re about making small, intentional changes that build resilience, strengthen your sense of self, and open the door to healthier relationships.
If you haven’t already, check out Part One here, where I break down the common feelings tied to abandonment issues. Seeing both sides—the struggle and the solutions—will give you the clarity and confidence to start your own healing journey.
13 Steps to Healing and Overcoming Abandonment Issues
Embracing change and growth while working through abandonment issues can be a transformative journey that requires courage, self-awareness, and resilience. You may grapple with the fear of abandonment and find yourself trapped in a cycle of anxiety and insecurity, but recognizing the need for change is the first step towards healing.
By confronting these deep-seated fears and actively working to understand and address them, you can begin to break free from the past and cultivate healthier, more fulfilling relationships.
Understand the Root Causes: Reflect on your past experiences and understand how they contribute to current feelings of abandonment can provide valuable insights. Many people like yourself, have experienced abandonment due to trauma in childhood.
Journal and write down how your upbringing and past experiences have affected you. Tell your story as we all have one.
Develop Coping Strategies: Equip yourself with effective coping strategies can help you manage emotions and reduce anxiety. Techniques such as meditation and mindfulness can help you stay present and reduce anxiety about the future.
Emotionally regulate yourself by taking a time out, changing your physical space, and being more present.
Write down the emotion or the stimuli that affects you. Understand where it comes from and then come up with another response, one that is healthier, to replace it with.
Foster Resilience: Build emotional resilience through self-care, practicing healthy selfishness, building healthy relationships, and engage in personal growth activities can create a stronger sense of self. Think about the things that bring you joy. Write them down.
Think about the times that you have been resilient and the positive changes and activities you have done. Every one counts.
Build Trust: Build and maintain consistent, reliable relationships that can help you develop trust over time.
Create Open Communication: Encourage open and honest communication in relationships will help address fears and concerns directly, reducing misunderstandings and building trust. Learn to assert your needs and desires in a respectful manner can help you feel more empowered and less fearful of abandonment.
Practice Self-Compassion: Learn to be kind to yourself and acknowledge your own worth can counteract feelings of unworthiness. In what areas of your life have you been su
Engage in Self-Care: Regular self-care practices, such as exercise, hobbies, and relaxation techniques, can enhance emotional well-being and resilience.
Set Boundaries: Establish and maintain healthy boundaries in relationships prevents over-dependence and promotes mutual respect. For example, many people who struggle with abandonment issues have difficulty setting healthy boundaries with themselves and others.
If you have a tendency to ‘blur the lines’ and come across as too needy for fear you will be left behind, learn to ‘hit the pause button’ and sit with your feelings. Ask is this a fact or a feeling?
Use Gradual Exposure: Gradually you will learn to face your fears of abandonment in a controlled and supportive environment which can reduce anxiety over time.
Take Small Steps: Take small, manageable steps towards independence and self-reliance can build confidence and reduce dependence on others. Think about a few goals or habits you want to start to take and write them down.
These will become part of your system that will eventually reinforce your lifestyle that you want to incorporate. Read about this in Atomic Habits - a fabulous book!
Activate Positive Reinforcement: Learn to celebrate small victories and progress in the journey towards healing and self-improvement. Use positive affirmations to reinforce your self-worth and confidence is a positive step.
Create Support Systems: Build a strong support system of friends, family, and support groups can provide a sense of security and belonging. Reach out to and share with them your struggles as they can be a integral part of your recovery and healing.
Seek Professional Help: Seek help from mental health professionals, such as therapists or counselors, can provide guidance and support in the healing process.
Closing Thoughts:
Healing from abandonment isn’t about erasing the past—it’s about learning how to carry it differently. In Part 1, 10 Common Feelings When You Struggle with Abandonment Issues, we looked at the pain and patterns that come from abandonment wounds.
Here in Part 2, you now have 13 practical steps you can start using today to rebuild trust, set healthier boundaries, and create more secure relationships.
Remember, change happens in small steps. Every time you choose self-compassion over self-criticism, or boundaries over people-pleasing, you’re rewriting your story.
You don’t have to do this alone. If you’re ready to go deeper in your healing journey, let’s work together. Book a free 15-minute consultation here.
