4 Types Of Emotionally Immature Parents

Emotionally immature parents are often dismissive, self-involved, or emotionally unavailable. Their needs always come first, and kids are left to fill the gaps. In Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents, Dr. Lindsay Gibson identifies four types of these parents and how deeply they affect their children.

The Lasting Impact on You

If this was your childhood, you may still feel angry, frustrated, or lonely as an adult. Many people put others first—partners, friends, family—while ignoring their own needs. Low self-esteem, self-doubt, and trouble trusting your instincts are common. After all, how can you trust yourself if your feelings were constantly dismissed?

The Flip Side: Emotionally Mature Parents

In contrast, emotionally mature parents see and validate their child’s feelings. They model empathy, admit mistakes, and encourage growth. Their kids feel safe to be themselves and learn to trust their own inner voice.

The 4 Types of Emotionally Immature Parents

1. Emotional Parents

Ruled by their feelings—one minute overwhelming, the next withdrawn. You grow up walking on eggshells, absorbing their anxiety and instability.

Signs: reactive, low empathy, focused on themselves, poor at repairing conflict.

2. Driven Parents

Appear successful and productive but expect you to share their goals. Praise is conditional, based only on what reflects well on them.

Signs: controlling, low empathy, “fixer” mindset, little room for your individuality.

3. Passive Parents

Hands-off and conflict-avoidant. They may ignore abuse, minimize problems, or turn a blind eye. You’re left feeling unsupported and unprotected.

Signs: emotionally distant or overly enmeshed, self-absorbed, inconsistent empathy.

4. Rejecting Parents

Walled off and detached. They view you as a bother, preferring isolation over connection. Compassion and affection are rare.

Signs: mocking, dismissive, rejecting, little empathy, quick to anger.

Emotionally Immature Parents Checklist

Emotional Immaturity shows up clearly in relationships and its impacts are very profound when the relationship is between a parent and child. Want to find out if you have emotionally immature parents?

Read these statements below and see how many statements reflect your childhood experience.

• I didn’t feel listened to; I rarely received my parent’s full attention.

• My parent’s moods affected the whole household. 

• My parent wasn’t sensitive to my feelings. 

• I felt like I should have known what my parent wanted without being told.

• I felt that I could never do enough to make my parents happy. 

• I was trying harder to understand my parent than my parent was trying to understand me.

• Open and honest communication with my parent was difficult or impossible.

• My parent thought people should play their roles and not deviate from them.

• My parent was often intrusive or disrespectful of my privacy.

• I always felt that my parent thought I was too sensitive and emotional.

• My parent played favorites in terms of who got the most attention.

• My parent stopped listening when he or she didn’t like what was being said.

• I often felt guilty, stupid, bad, or ashamed around my parent.

• My parent rarely apologized or tried to improve the situation when there was a problem between us.

• I often felt pent up anger towards my parent that I couldn’t express.

Reprinted with permission: Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents, Lindsay C. Gibson, PsyD

Moving Forward

Realizing you were raised by an emotionally immature parent is painful—but it’s also the first step toward healing. You can learn to set boundaries, reclaim your self-worth, and build healthier relationships.

You’ve carried these patterns long enough—it’s time to put them down. Together, we can uncover how your upbringing shaped you, and create a healthier path forward with more clarity, boundaries, and self-trust. Book your free 15-minute consultation today.