Kristin Davin, Psy.D, Licensed Psychologist
Individual virtual therapy in New York, New Jersey, Florida, and Connecticut
Healing From Unhealthy Love
Signs of an unhealthy relationship
An unhealthy relationship can really take a toll on your mental health, making you feel anxious, stressed, or even depressed. Over time, it can chip away at your self-esteem and confidence.
Here are 8 common signs to watch for:
1. Trust Feels Fragile
Trust is the foundation of any relationship. But if you’re constantly questioning your partner’s actions, checking their phone, or feeling anxious when they’re out of sight, that’s a sign something deeper is off. When trust is missing, everything starts to feel unstable.
2. Communication Feels Like a Battle (or a Wall)
You try to talk—but it always ends in arguments, shutdowns, or feeling misunderstood. Healthy relationships need open, honest communication. If every conversation turns tense, or you hold back to avoid conflict, that disconnect can slowly erode the relationship.
3. One Person Holds All the Power
Unhealthy love often includes control, manipulation, or subtle power plays. If you feel like you’re constantly being pushed around, guilt-tripped, or walking on eggshells to avoid upsetting your partner, it’s a sign the power dynamic isn’t balanced.
4. There’s a Lack of Emotional Support
Relationships should be a safe place to land. But if your partner brushes off your feelings, changes the subject, or makes you feel like a burden, it can be deeply isolating. Everyone deserves to feel seen, heard, and supported—especially by the person closest to them.
5. You’re Always the One Giving
Codependency often looks like constantly putting someone else’s needs before your own. Maybe you can’t set boundaries, feel guilty for saying no, or believe your worth is tied to being needed. Over time, this can leave you emotionally depleted and unsure of who you are outside the relationship.
6. You’re Second-Guessing Yourself All the Time
Gaslighting is a form of manipulation that makes you question your thoughts, memories, and even your sanity. If you constantly feel confused, apologize when you’ve done nothing wrong, or wonder if you’re “too sensitive,” it may be because your reality is being distorted
7. Emotional Immaturity Drains You
An emotionally immature partner may avoid accountability, get defensive over small things, or struggle to handle real conversations. You end up doing all the emotional labor—managing their moods, calming their reactions, or shrinking yourself to avoid triggering them. That’s exhausting.
8. The Behavior Is Just... Toxic
Sometimes, unhealthy love is easier to feel than define. It might show up as guilt trips, controlling behavior, backhanded compliments, or a pattern of never taking responsibility. You may notice love bombing at first, followed by coldness or blame. If you feel drained, confused, or diminished—you’re not imagining it.
So, are you in an unhealthy relationship?
Do you find yourself stuck in these kinds of patterns, constantly repeating them? Sometimes recognizing these signs is the first step toward making a change or deciding what boundaries you need to set.