11 Signs of a Toxic Person—and How They Make You Feel

Toxic people don’t always walk into your life waving red flags. Sometimes, they show up with charm, affection, and attention—only to slowly chip away at your self-worth. If you’ve ever found yourself feeling drained, confused, or constantly questioning your reality after being around someone, it may not be “just you.” It may be that the relationship is toxic.

Let’s break down the signs—and what it actually feels like to be on the receiving end of this behavior.

11 Common Signs of a Toxic Person

1. They use guilt to manipulate you.

They make you feel bad for setting boundaries or not meeting their needs. You constantly feel like you're letting them down, even when you’ve done nothing wrong.

2. They gaslight you.

They twist your words, question your memory, or call you “crazy” when you express concern. You begin to doubt your own reality.

3. They love bomb you.

Over-the-top flattery, gifts, and praise happen early in the relationship. It feels exciting—until it turns into control and manipulation.

4. They lack empathy and emotional insight.

They don’t acknowledge how their actions affect you. They rarely apologize, and when they do, it often feels hollow or dismissive.

5. They are controlling.

They subtly (or not so subtly) isolate you from family or friends. You begin to change how you dress, speak, or behave to avoid conflict.

6. They hold grudges.

They don’t let go of mistakes. They bring up past issues repeatedly, using them as weapons in future arguments.

7. They lie or withhold information.

You catch them in dishonesty—big or small. They keep secrets or shift blame to avoid accountability.

8. They compete with you.

Instead of celebrating your wins, they minimize them—or try to one-up you. It never feels safe to shine.

9. They’re chronically disrespectful.

They interrupt you, talk down to you, or embarrass you in front of others. They may “forget” important things that matter to you.

10. They use passive-aggressive tactics.

Silent treatment. Withholding affection. Sarcasm that cuts deep. You’re left walking on eggshells.

11. They’re financially irresponsible or manipulative.

They may hide spending, lie about money, or make you feel guilty for earning or spending your own.

How a Toxic Person Makes You Feel

Toxic people don’t just say harmful things—they create a full-body experience of emotional tension and confusion.

You may feel:

• Emotionally drained after interactions

• Guilty when setting boundaries

• Confused about your identity or needs

• Like you're “too sensitive” for reacting

• Like you're constantly trying to keep the peace

• Afraid to speak up or express how you feel

BUT most of all: You stop recognizing yourself. You think, “I don’t feel like me anymore, but I don’t know how to get back to who I was.”

Final Thoughts

Toxic people don’t always look toxic at first glance. But over time, their patterns erode your confidence, your clarity, and your emotional safety. If you see yourself in these patterns, take a breath. You’re not imagining it. You’re not overreacting. And you’re not alone.

The first step isn’t necessarily cutting them off—it’s recognizing the signs and beginning the slow, powerful work of putting yourself first again.

Want More Support?

Download my free worksheet: “Why Do I Stay? A Self-Reflection Guide.” This will help you:
1.) Explore what’s keeping you stuck
2.) Get clarity on how to begin untangling the emotional web
3.) Take one small step toward freedom